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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672185">No Clowning Around</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmnipresentNuance/pseuds/OmnipresentNuance'>OmnipresentNuance</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Loud House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>April Fools' Day, Clowns, Gen, Halloween, Haunted House, Scary Clowns, Sibling Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:40:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmnipresentNuance/pseuds/OmnipresentNuance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On their way back home, Luan, Lynn and Lincoln come across an old abandoned house that supposedly used to be a haunted house attraction. Within minutes of her two younger siblings entering inside, however, Luan will learn that a troupe of psycho killer clowns have seized them and she must awaken something equally dark and dangerous within her in order to save them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No Clowning Around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I bid you a most pleasant of greetings, dear viewer. Prepare for something completely different compared to what I've written thus far. You thought all I write is sweet, oftentimes sad and ultimately fluffy and heartwarming stuff? Well, this will still end in that manner, but until then...dark and bloody times abound.</p>
<p>So this is the other story with a very minimized Halloween theme I promised, but obviously as just implied, this one's of the much creepier sort. Like "Literally Batty", this isn't the most seasonal of offerings, but again, my favorite holiday of the year is only used as a brief opening setup which is otherwise made irrelevant due to the frightful circumstances that unfold. This also is another one of those fanfics of mine that's a long time coming, as it was last October that I did a good deal of work on it, then it sort of remained dormant until this past week when I got around to finishing it.</p>
<p>Another thing is that this is first story of mine that I'll hands up in the air admit there could be some OOC behavior, particularly in Luan's case, though it could be justified based on the situation possibly.</p>
<p>Finally, you may notice that Luna is included as one of the characters featured in this story even though I don't mention her in the summary. All I'll say is that her role in this will be revealed as you read on, which I will let you to do right now.</p>
<p>The Loud House is the exclusive property of Nickelodeon and Viacom. The usage of the setting, characters and such is based on nothing more than a pure affinity for everything and is not being used for monetary purposes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A dark, overcast day was materializing one afternoon in an area just within the boundaries of Royal Woods.</p>
<p>In that particular area, three Loud siblings consisting of Luan, Lynn and Lincoln happened to be going on a walk through the neck of the woods at the moment. The purpose of this walk was basically a scouting mission of sorts that Lincoln had planned out in order to seek new localities for trick or treating purposes on Halloween. Initially, he was the only one who was going to map out such new potential sources of candy gathering, but Luan and Lynn also tagged along for the ride as well, the latter because of her surprising announcement to Lincoln that she was going to participate in one last round of trick or treating herself, and the former because she'll be accompanying them on that faithful night of All Hallows' Eve.</p>
<p>"Gotta hand it to you, Linc, this seems like a pretty sweet area to score some new candy hauls!" Lynn said, giving her brother a quick jab on the shoulder.</p>
<p>"Thanks, Lynn. I've been having my eye on this place for weeks now planning things out." Lincoln said, "On a related note, I'm still surprised you actually want to go trick or treating with me on Halloween. Don't you think you're a little too old for that kind of thing? I don't remember seeing many 13-year-old kids out and about in previous years. Maybe a few, but not a lot."</p>
<p>"Eh, maybe I am." Lynn answered while shrugging, "But honesty, after hearing the lengths you've gone to scope out a new place for this year, I figured 'what the heck', why not go on one final round with my little bro before hanging up the old candy bucket for good?"</p>
<p>Lincoln smiled at the jock, then turned his attention to the comedienne, "What about you, Luan? You sure that you don't want to join in on the trick or treating yourself?"</p>
<p>Luan shook her head, "Nah, I'm good, Lincoln. My last time was when I was twelve and I'm sticking with that. Besides, you just asked Lynn, a 13-year-old, if she's too old to do it, so why would you ask the same of me, a 14-year-old?"</p>
<p>"Mm, good point." Lincoln admitted.</p>
<p>"But of course I'm still willing to accompany you guys along the way like we talked about before. Since Mom is going with Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa, and Lori, Leni and Luna are sticking back home to hand out candy, I figure we give Dad a break this year so he can be with Lily, since he isn't really big on Halloween to begin with. Sometimes with the way he gets so terrified this time of year, you'd think he had his own ready made ghost costume, because of the way he's becomes as <em>pale </em>as a <em>sheet</em>!" Luan said, wrapping up that pun with her standard variety of laughter.</p>
<p>Lynn and Lincoln on the other hand were less than amused, both sharing a groan.</p>
<p>For the next little while, the three of them continued on their way around this new location Lincoln had chosen for trick or treating purposes.</p>
<p>However, upon arriving at a more distant and isolated part of the area, something caught their attention.</p>
<p>"Hey, I wonder what that is?" Lincoln curiously wondered.</p>
<p>He started taking more of a lead in walking until he transitioned into a jog. Wanting to know what their brother must have seen, Luan and Lynn followed along in a similarly brisk pace in order to keep up with him.</p>
<p>By the time they caught up with him, Lincoln was standing in front of a gated location and just beyond those gates was a large, dilapidated house.</p>
<p>"Whoa, whose creepy house does this belong to?" Lynn wondered.</p>
<p>"I don't think it belongs to anybody. Looks like it's been abandoned for a very long time." Luan suggested.</p>
<p>"I think it won't be abandoned for long, guys." Lincoln said, "Look at this."</p>
<p>He pointed at a sign near the front gate that he and his sisters took a good look at.</p>
<p>"<em>Coming soon! New haunted house attraction in Royal Woods!"</em></p>
<p>"A new haunted house attraction?" Lincoln said with a hint of excitement, but something wasn't adding up, "Wait, why does it say 'coming soon'? It's five days before Halloween! Why wouldn't it be operational by now?"</p>
<p>"Maybe it's not opening until Halloween. Could be because it's something so over the top and scary that it's a one night only deal or something." Lynn theorized.</p>
<p>"Or maybe it's not going to be opening at all. I'm mean, look at this sign. You would think it's almost as old as the house itself. So maybe this used to be a haunted house attraction, but it has since been shut down for a long time." Luan said, being more skeptical of the matter.</p>
<p>"That could be true." Lincoln agreed, but another question came to mind, "Still, I wonder about the 'coming soon' part of the sign. Could it be that it never opened at all and it was shut down preemptively because something really bad happened in there?"</p>
<p>"Anything's possible, I guess." Luan said while shrugging, "But let's not get hung up on this. We should probably start heading on home right about now."</p>
<p>Lincoln nodded, "Yeah, you're right. We've got a good enough handle on this area, I'd say."</p>
<p>With that, Luan and Lincoln resumed in walking, but quickly noticed that Lynn wasn't following along. They turned back to see their athletic sister standing near the front gate.</p>
<p>"Lynn, aren't you coming along?" Lincoln inquired.</p>
<p>She didn't respond to her brother's inquiry. Instead, she got a devious smile on her face and was starting to open the gate.</p>
<p>"Uh, Lynn, what are you doing?" Luan questioned her suspiciously.</p>
<p>"Well, I'd figure since this place appears to be abandoned, why don't we take a look inside?" Lynn suggested.</p>
<p>"Um, I don't think that's such a good idea, Lynn." Lincoln said in disagreement.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I agree." Luan added more apprehensively, "I mean, I'm getting such creepy vibes from that house."</p>
<p>Lynn scoffed, "Oh, give me a break, you guys. Besides, you're the one that said it yourself, Luan. It's abandoned, as in no one's there. What's the worst that could happen?"</p>
<p>"Lynn, I'm being serious here!" Luan expressed with growing annoyance, "I don't think you should be doing this!"</p>
<p>"Hey, you can think whatever you want." Lynn said, rolling her eyes, "You chickens can stay behind if you'd like, but I'm gonna head on in myself anyway. I'll only be like a minute or something around that, so quit your panicking."</p>
<p>With her defiant statement, Lynn open the gate all the way and jogged her way towards the house.</p>
<p>"LYNN!" Luan and Lincoln both shouted in a last ditch effort to dissuade her.</p>
<p>It obviously didn't work as she gotten up to the front door and headed inside.</p>
<p>For the next few moments, Luan and Lincoln were unsure about what to do. They hoped that Lynn would do exactly what she claimed in taking a quick look around the house and come on back. But as time went on, she didn't emerge, making both of her siblings become very concerned.</p>
<p>"It's been well past a minute now. What's she doing?" Lincoln wondered.</p>
<p>"I don't know, Lincoln." Luan said nervously, "I'm getting a really bad feeling about this."</p>
<p>"Don't worry about it, Luan. I'll go over and get her myself." Lincoln offered up, beginning to work his way toward the house.</p>
<p>"Lincoln, wait! I-"</p>
<p>His sister's concerns weren't heeded as Lincoln bounded up to the doorway and headed inside to track down Lynn.</p>
<p>As that happened, Luan stood by, her worries only increasing with every passing second. Now Lincoln had been gone almost as long as when Lynn initially went inside herself.</p>
<p>"Lynn? Lincoln?" Luan called out to them, "Are you guys okay?"</p>
<p>Several seconds went by without any responses from either of them and Luan's sensations of worry had become outright fear as questions began arising within her. Were her siblings okay? Did they not hear her? What was going on inside this ominous ramshackle of a house?</p>
<p>Sighing with much reluctance, Luan realized now that she had no other choice but to go inside and find out what was going on. She tread carefully along the walkway that leads to the house, every step she took causing her levels of anxiety to rise from the creep factor the building was giving her.</p>
<p>As Luan got about three-quarters of the way up the path, something caught her eye. Right by the side of the path was a wooden placard lying face down. It looked like it had either been that way for a long time now or had been knocked over from Lynn or Lincoln running on up to house. Curiosity getting the better of her, she picked it up and flipped it around.</p>
<p>The placard in question featured crude drawings of several creepy looking clowns with their names written next to them, which Luan had to assume must've been performers who were either part of or were planning to be involved with the attraction associated with the house, depending again if it was ever up and running at all from the start.</p>
<p>"<em>Come meet the Terror Clown Troupe!</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Sunflower! Stampy! Spritz! Scrunchy! Scratcher! Spinny! Stout! Sparkle and Sprinkle! And who can forget their grand leaders: Stogie and Salvo!"</em>
</p>
<p>"Yeesh, no thanks." Luan said in disgust, "Normally I love clowns, but these guys are just...no."</p>
<p>Tossing the placard aside, she focused back at the task at hand. She took the last few steps needed to be right up at the doorway and took a deep breath to ready herself before she opened the double doors and stepped inside.</p>
<p>Upon entering, Luan to a moment to take in the surroundings of house's foyer. While the exterior was run down, the foyer was remarkably pristine by comparison. But she didn't want to take too long in observing when she needed to find her missing siblings.</p>
<p>"Lynn! Lincoln! Where are you?" Luan shouted, her voice echoing across the room.</p>
<p>Suddenly, she was startled when she heard the doors close behind her by themselves. This was followed by multiple sources of chilling, sinister laughter coming from all different directions.</p>
<p>Next, she felt a white gloved hand cover her mouth and was being dragged away by someone.</p>
<p>"Ooh, a three-for-one special!" The figure said sadistically.</p>
<p>While she let out a muffled scream and struggled to break free, Luan looked up to see the hideous visage of a clown staring down back at her. It hit her right then and there that this was one of the clowns that was displayed on the placard she had just saw outside. Based on the large gag flower shaped in a certain manner, she assumed this was the one known as Sunflower.</p>
<p>"Heh, struggle all you want, girly, it's not gonna do you any favors!" He said gruffly.</p>
<p>The danger Luan was in would be amplified when Sunflower pulled out a hatchet and held it up along the side of her neck.</p>
<p>"Ah, ah, ah. One more move and it's night-night time!"</p>
<p>Luan froze in place, feeling the coldness of the hatchet almost pressing against her skin.</p>
<p>But then in a spur of the moment action, she bit down hard on one of Sunflower's fingers. He yelped in pain and let go of her, dropping the hatchet he had in the process.</p>
<p>Knowing she had no other choice, Luan hastily picked up the hatchet and swung it at his knee, bringing him down. She swung a second time, burying the hatchet deep into his stomach. Finally, she took a third swing and slashed him across the throat. Sunflower released a repulsive gurgling sound as blood gushed out his mouth and throat before he collapsed onto the floor dead.</p>
<p>As the clown's corpse laid before her, Luan was in complete shock as to what had just happened. She was trembling, breathing heavily and her heart was racing like it never had before. Even though it was entirely in self defense and to vanquish a none too pleasing figure, the enormity of having to take another human life at her age was hitting her hard.</p>
<p>However, no matter how much Luan was disturbed by what occurred, she didn't have the time to dwell on things. Every second that passed only increased the now mortal danger she realized Lynn and Lincoln had to be in. She looked back over at the bloodied hatchet that she wielded and ever so gradually, she began feeling a rush of power and determination coursing through her veins. Adding to this was when she ran her fingers across some of the blood on the weapon and smeared some of it on the bridge of her nose as if it were war paint. She then felt a sick grin form on her lips.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, you guys, I'm coming for you. And if anyone is stupid enough to cross me, well...they're gonna to get<em> cut</em> down to size."</p>
<p>Now with this newfound willpower, Luan set off in tracking down her younger siblings once again. Her first move was to go down a hallway on the ground floor to her right.</p>
<p>Halfway down said hall, she heard a thumping noise close to a nearby door. Then out of the blue, a huge foot bashed a hole through the door before completely knocking it down. The culprit emerged from the doorway to reveal himself as another clown with shoes that were enormous even by clown shoe standards.</p>
<p>"You must be Stampy, I assume?" Luan asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah, what's it to ya, toots?" He fired back, chuckling with sinister intent.</p>
<p>"Well, first off, there's only one dummy in the world that's allowed to call me that and it sure ain't you! Secondly, I don't mean to intrude on your <em>stomping </em>grounds, but I do believe you and your friends have kidnapped my two younger siblings, so I must put my <em>foot</em> down and get them back from you weirdos!"</p>
<p>Letting out a determined shout, Luan charged right at Stampy, but he lifted up one of his gigantic feet and made her run face into it, knocking her to the ground. He then tried stomping at her, but Luan rolled out of the way of each attempt. She got back up and attempted another charge, but Stampy tripped her up with one of his feet. Next, he pressed down his other foot to keep her in place as he whipped out a meat cleaver.</p>
<p>But right as he was about swing it down at her, Luan took the hatchet and swung onto Stampy's ankle. He keeled over in pain and it gave her the opportunity to stand up.</p>
<p>"Oh, I do believe I've discovered your Achilles<em> heel</em> there!" Luan declared.</p>
<p>She would then forcefully slam down the hatchet right across one of Stampy's feet, slicing it practically in two. The same action was repeated for the other foot, causing wailing agony on the part of the giant pedal extremity based clown.</p>
<p>To wrap things up and put him out of his misery, Luan simply planted her own foot on Stampy, much like he did before, and jammed the hatchet square through his forehead with all her might, killing him instantly.</p>
<p>As Luan stepped away from the brained corpse, she couldn't help but admit to herself internally that she was beginning to get some kind of sick pleasure in doing this. But after all, though, these sicko clowns kidnapped her siblings, so wasn't she allowed in a sense to get little bit of joy in slicing them up for their misdeeds?</p>
<p>Before fully leaving, she turned back and decided to snag the meat cleaver that had been discarded thanks to Stampy's death. Luan looked at the dual weapons in her hands and laughed.</p>
<p>"Now it's gonna be <em>doubly </em>fun!" She said with jovial perverseness.</p>
<p>Carrying twice as much clown hacking potential, Luan moved further down the hall until she arrived at a dining room at the end. Nothing out of the ordinary jumped out at her as she scanned the room for anything suspicious.</p>
<p>That may have not been the best figure of speech because Luan would get a quick startle when another clown leaped into view and landed on the dining room table.</p>
<p>"Huh, now which one are you supposed to be?" She asked.</p>
<p>The clown cackled as he reached over and showed off a seltzer bottle.</p>
<p>"Ah, Spritz." Luan said with an acknowledging nod, then had a cocky grin on her face, "And really now, that's your weapon? A seltzer bottle? Hey, at least your dead pals had these that I snagged from them."</p>
<p>Laughing again, Spritz pointed the nozzle straight at Luan and spayed the substance within. Sure enough, it was simply water that was shot at her.</p>
<p>Very hot water, that is.</p>
<p>Luan cried out in pain and fell down to her knees as Spritz cackled manically and dashed away from the scene.</p>
<p>He may have slowed her down with that hot water, but if he assumed that it would deter her in any way, he was sorely mistaken.</p>
<p>"Hey, didn't your mother teach you to say it, not <em>spray</em> it?!"</p>
<p>With that pun shouted outward, a proverbial fire was lit inside Luan had she not already been motivated enough through seeking vengeance against these clowns for committing the heinous act of kidnapping Lynn and Lincoln. She stood back up and gave chase to where she believed Spritz ran off to.</p>
<p>Crossing through a smaller hallway, Luan now arrived at a kitchen. She looked around, all senses alert and on guard for any unpleasant surprises that may beckon within.</p>
<p>Such a surprise was in fact waiting for her when she turned around and saw Spritz charging head on toward her, seltzer bottle at hand. Luan quickly stepped aside and in an unexpected act of klutziness, Spritz dropped the bottle, slipped on it and had sent himself careening toward the sink. He slammed hard against it and found his hand caught inside the garbage disposal.</p>
<p>Much to his misfortune, Luan just happened to notice that little detail and knew what to do.</p>
<p>"Gotta <em>hand</em> it to ya. Things just happen to line up perfectly for me, don't they?"</p>
<p>With a wicked laugh, she went over and flicked the switch near the sink as Spritz screamed, feeling his hand being chopped by the blades of the garbage disposal. His pain would be short lived, but only because Luan would then bring down the meat cleaver on his exposed arm twice until it was dismembered.</p>
<p>As Spritz slumped down back first onto the floor sans an arm, Luan turned off the garbage disposal, then as a means of pouring salt on the wounds, she picked up the seltzer bottle and sprayed it multiple times at him. However, she realized that instead of water this time around, this was a different liquid being sprayed if the pungent odor was any indicator.</p>
<p>"Hey is this...gasoline?" She wondered out loud.</p>
<p>Right as Luan said that, she heard a metallic sound of something dropping onto the floor. As if convenience hadn't already been on her side enough today, she saw that it was a lighter that likely fell out of a pocket from Spritz. A sickeningly mischievous idea then came to mind.</p>
<p>She grabbed the lighter, flicked it on and tossed it right on Spritz's gasoline coated form, setting him ablaze. He screamed hysterically as the flames consumed him. Well, all except for his head, which would be bludgeoned with the hatchet by Luan a handful of times, silencing his screams permanently.</p>
<p>"Oh, hush up." She said coolly.</p>
<p>Though the sight of the burning clown was cathartic to her, Luan decided to show the slightest bit of mercy by taking a nearby container, filling it up with water and poured it out to douse the flames. That or she did it to prevent the fire from spreading and burning the whole house down with her siblings still within.</p>
<p>Stepping over the charred, one-armed corpse with a half smashed face, Luan exited the kitchen and returned back to the foyer of the house, having not much luck in finding her siblings so far. She was just about to start exploring the left hand side when something caught the corner of her eye.</p>
<p>She looked up to see yet another clown, this one just standing there awkwardly at the top of the stairs.</p>
<p>Luan readied herself, prepared for another life or death scuffle.</p>
<p>However, the clown again was only standing there, not even so much as moving a muscle.</p>
<p>Bewildered, Luan began to gradually creep up the stairs toward him. As she got closer, again without him flinching at her approaching presence, she saw that he was of the smaller sort compared to the three other clowns she'd previously whacked and even shorter than she was. Because of his short stature and the fact that his face was all scrunched up, this had to be Scrunchy.</p>
<p>"Hey...Scrunchy, is it?" Luan inquired as she reached the top of the stairs.</p>
<p>Even with her right up at him, Scrunchy still didn't move, flinch or even blink. Though it was both creepy and yet kind of amusing at the same time, his lack of movement made Luan believe he was easy pickings.</p>
<p>That is, until he twitched his head right at her, then bit her on the leg.</p>
<p>"OW!" She shouted out.</p>
<p>Luan dropped both her weapons and fell to a knee as Scrunchy scampered down the stairs and off to the same left hand area that she was planning to take a gander at.</p>
<p>Hissing in pain, Luan took a moment to look at the area of her leg that was bitten on, which was just below her knee and she saw a visible bite mark shaped like two rows of human teeth.</p>
<p>"Huh, I guess in his case it's all <em>bite</em>, no bark." She said with a dark chuckle.</p>
<p>Retrieving both the hatchet and cleaver again, Luan stood back up and traveled back downstairs in her bid to track down Scrunchy.</p>
<p>She headed down another hallway until a suspect sound entered her eardrums. It came off like whimpering and shivering. She followed the sound until coming across another door. Though they came off like sounds of genuine fear, Luan had to be on her guard, thinking this could be a trap by the diminutive clown.</p>
<p>She took both the hatchet and cleaver into her right hand and gripped the doorknob with the left. With a turn of the knob, she swung the door open and raised both weapons in the air, fully prepared to bring them down on what she thought was Scrunchy.</p>
<p>Instead, a different, but equally small figure was inside clutching at a baseball bat with nails and screws jutting out of the top portion. This figure's eyes were shut and was also quivering in sheer terror.</p>
<p>But Luan instantly recognized the sports jersey and ponytail hairstyle.</p>
<p>"Lynn!" She shouted.</p>
<p>The trembling athlete shot open her eyes to see her older sister standing before her and without giving it a second thought, she dropped the bat and hugged her as tightly as she ever did to anyone.</p>
<p>"Luan! I-I-I..." Lynn attempted to get out before she began to hyperventilate.</p>
<p>Luan placed the hatchet and cleaver down and didn't hesitate in hugging Lynn right back. She shuddered at the thought as to what kind of horrors her little sister must have experienced in this house.</p>
<p>"Lynn, I'm so glad you're okay!" Luan said in total relief.</p>
<p>"Yeah, me too..." Lynn quietly said back, "I...I barely made it out alive."</p>
<p>Following a period of time in each other's arms, they parted ways, and it was then that Lynn had gotten a good look at Luan. She reeled back and yelped upon seeing the line of blood on the bridge of her sister's nose and portions of her clothes stained in sanguine.</p>
<p>"Oh my gosh, what happened to you, Luan?!" Lynn fearfully wondered.</p>
<p>"Oh this? You could say that I've gone hunting for harlequins who kidnapped the ones I love." Luan answered with a little manic laugh.</p>
<p>Lynn wasn't exactly sure what to make of that, but a quick look at the bloody implements just to the side of Luan and things began making sense.</p>
<p>"Wait, you also dealt with some creepy clowns yourself?" Lynn asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah I did, three of them so far." Luan said, nodding gently, "You too?"</p>
<p>"Uh-huh, two for me, and these were guys friggin' scary!" Lynn said, "One of them had these claw-like things on his hands and other did this thing where he kept on twirling around like a figure skater."</p>
<p>Those descriptions made Luan know who Lynn had encountered, "Let me guess, Scratcher and Spinny?"</p>
<p>Lynn turned her head to the side, "Wait, these creepers have names?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I don't want to dwell on how I know them." Luan said before flashing a determined look on her face, "We need to find Lincoln and get out of here!"</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I have no idea where he is, Luan!" Lynn said, her speech getting more frightful, "I h-hope he's n-not, you know...d-"</p>
<p>"Lynn, don't even think about saying something like that!" Luan stated firmly, placing her hands on her sister's shoulders. "He's got to be around somewhere, and whoever these psychos are that give clowning a bad name, I'm gonna make them pay for this and I'm not joking one little bit!"</p>
<p>Lynn took a pair of deep breaths to try calming herself down some and rid herself of the worst case scenario for their little brother before she was helped up to her feet. Right as that happened, something caught her eye that was coming at them.</p>
<p>"Luan, look out!" She shouted.</p>
<p>Luan swiveled her head around to see at the end of the hall Scrunchy reemerging and making a mad dash for her and Lynn, teeth gnashing as he leaped up toward them. Luan scrambled in grabbing her clown chopping instruments, but didn't have to worry about that as she saw Lynn swinging her spiked bat right at Scrunchy's head, cutting him off at the pass.</p>
<p>The clown's body flopped onto the ground and Luan wasted no time in hacking him multiple times over just to make sure he was dead. Just as an exclamation point, she bashed the meat cleaver down across his throat, all but practically decapitating him and ultimately chose to leave the cleaver there in favor of keeping the hatchet, believing it to be the more practical weapon in a singular basis due to its longer reach.</p>
<p>Upon finishing that macabre deed, she stood up and was breathing heavily.</p>
<p>"Are...are you okay, Luan?" Lynn asked hesitantly.</p>
<p>Luan looked over to her sister and smiled rather devilishly, "Oh, I'm totally fine, Lynn. Now come, we mustn't be keeping our brother waiting."</p>
<p>That reaction was not something Lynn saw coming. It sent cold chills down her spine, as this did not sound like anything her sister would ever say, certainly not in the manner of which she spoke. It practically came off like she was thrilled by what she did and it kind of scared Lynn pretty seriously. But no matter how unnerving that was, Lynn obviously knew that Luan was the only other form of defense she had other than the bat she wielded, so she followed along.</p>
<p>But before they went any further, Luan turned back over to Lynn.</p>
<p>"Hey, where did you get that thing, anyway?" She inquired, referencing the bat her sister was holding.</p>
<p>"Um, well...I found it while I was trapped in this one room with two of those clown creeps. This thing was a lifesaver, you know." Lynn answered.</p>
<p>Upon closer inspection, Luan did notice the large bloodstain up top the bat with the screws and nails on it, meaning the "encounter" Lynn insinuated earlier likely ended with her dealing out a barbaric bludgeoning to Scratcher and Spinny.</p>
<p>In any event, Luan and Lynn returned to the foyer.</p>
<p>"Where are we going?" Lynn asked.</p>
<p>"Upstairs." Luan simply stated, pointing in the general direction.</p>
<p>The two headed the up the flight of stairs and arrived upon double doors a few feet ahead. Luan cracked open one of the doors and peered gently inside. When she didn't see anything that was out of the ordinary, at least what could be considered "ordinary" given everything that's happened thus far, she opened the door all the way and stepped in with Lynn following close behind.</p>
<p>The room they entered was a fancy parlor complete with a warm fire crackling over at the fireplace. It was an oddly relaxing sensation compared to the bloody fracas that occurred on the ground floor so far.</p>
<p>"Huh, so you must be the ones who caused the ruckus downstairs."</p>
<p>The girls' attention was drawn over to a chair right over in the far corner where that calm and collected voice came from. It belonged to clown with a rotund form who was casually sitting down, almost as if he was waiting for them.</p>
<p>"Name's Stout." He said in a composed manner, "Charmed, ladies."</p>
<p>"Well, you're awfully polite. Not that it excuses my sister and brother from being kidnapped by you creepers or anything like that." Luan responded with bitterness.</p>
<p>"What? Big clown, civil manners. Not what you expected, no?" Stout posited, cracking his knuckles knowing he's still likely about to get into a scuffle.</p>
<p>"True, it does make you rather <em>well-rounded</em> I must say." Luan replied with a terse laugh.</p>
<p>Stout slowly rose up from the chair and scoffed, "That pun was unoriginal, but expected. No matter, this won't take too long."</p>
<p>He reached inside his pockets and put on a pair of brass knuckles with small spikes on the ends.</p>
<p>"You better be ready, Lynn." Luan quietly said to her sister aside.</p>
<p>Lynn released a deep breath, gripped her bat just that little bit tighter and forced a determined look on her face, even if she was very much shaken from everything she's been through.</p>
<p>"I'm ready to beat down some creepy clown ass!" Lynn declared.</p>
<p>Bellowing out a war cry, she charged head on and leaped into the air, preparing for an overhead swing with the bat, but was casually swatted aside by Stout, sending her hard against the wall.</p>
<p>"I see there's no concrete strategy here. Again, this isn't going to take long." Stout said smugly.</p>
<p>His attention fully turned to Luan, he marched up and attempted several shots at her that she ducked and weaved, but it seemed that Stout was intentionally missing most of them as a means of toying with her. However, a pair of shots did graze her arms thanks to the spiked portion of the brass knuckles, drawing blood as a result.</p>
<p>Stout took a quick moment to gloat, which gave Luan a window of opportunity to swipe at his large arms with the hatchet. He groaned in pain briefly, but shrugged it off.</p>
<p>"Nothing more than flesh wounds." He said dismissively.</p>
<p>He reeled back as if to unleash one powerful punch, but Stout shouted painfully upon feeling something jagged digging into his back. He turned to see Lynn having made a recovery and slamming down the bat on him. He again brushed her aside, but the momentary act of taking his eyes off Luan allowed her to slash his arms again several times, causing blood flowing down them like miniature rivers.</p>
<p>Stout began stumbling around, the blood loss beginning to affect the big clown's stability. He staggered until he came close to the fireplace and that is where a wicked idea popped into Luan's head.</p>
<p>"Lynn, help me give him that extra<em> push</em> in life so he can crash and<em> burn</em>." She instructed with devious intent.</p>
<p>Though a bit disturbed by what was being suggested, Lynn assisted Luan in shoving the big bodied clown until his face was pushed straight into the fire. He screamed agonizingly as the flames torched his facial features and eventually most of his head. Because of his size, the fire was all but put out not too long when he was forcefully smothered inside.</p>
<p>Stout's screaming slowly began to subside and his body twitching less as consciousness was becoming an afterthought, but just to be sure, Luan struggled and strained as she pulled him away and flipped him over. His face was melting off and wasn't made any better when Luan chopped at it thrice, ending any fleeting chance he would be still alive.</p>
<p>Upon finishing Stout off, Luan raised her blade in the air and cackled.</p>
<p>"Man, am I on <em>fire </em>or what?!" She shouted merrily.</p>
<p>By contrast, Lynn was far from being in a celebratory mood. She was getting more deeply disturbed by how Luan was getting her kicks off from clown slaughtering.</p>
<p>"Uh...Luan?" Lynn asked.</p>
<p>Luan turned over to her sister, "Huh? What?"</p>
<p>"I gotta ask again..." Lynn began, pausing to swallow, "Are you sure you're okay?"</p>
<p>"But of course, Lynn." Luan answered, just a hint of controlled madness bathing her voice, "What kind of a silly question is that?"</p>
<p>"It's not silly and no, I don't think you're okay!" Lynn fired back, "You seem like you're enjoying all of this!"</p>
<p>Luan tittered madly, "Well...maybe I am. I mean, this is kind of fun."</p>
<p>Lynn's jaw went agape and her eye twitched, "Fun? <em>Fun?!</em> Like I said before, I barely escaped with my own life when I was stuck with two of those clowns. I only fought back because that was my only option to deal with them, not because I thought there was any fun to it!"</p>
<p>Luan rolled her eyes, "You seemed like you were ready to have a good time, Ms. 'I'm Ready To Beat Down Some Creepy Clown Ass'! What was that all about, huh? Where's the super confident sports girl I've known all my life?"</p>
<p>"Well, maybe I only said that to come off like I was confident when I really wasn't!" Lynn shouted, tears starting to bubble up in the corners of her eyes, "Maybe, just maybe, I'm scared out of my mind over everything that's gone on! I'm scared about where Lincoln is and if he's okay! And now, you're scaring me with how you're behaving! How else am I supposed to take this, Luan?! <em>How?!</em>"</p>
<p>Lynn dropped her bat, fell down to her knees and covered her face with her hands as she began crying, as the horror of everything had simply become to much for her to handle.</p>
<p>Sighing heavily, Luan knelt down and made Lynn look up at her.</p>
<p>"Lynn, I want you to listen to me and listen to me good." She said with almost little emotion behind it, "What these clown bastards have done is simply unforgivable. They messed with my family, and in particular, two of many of the best siblings I could ever ask for. Can you really blame me for wanting to exact revenge on them for whatever they were possibly planning and having a little fun with that along the way? We can debate the morality of all this later, but right now, I'm...no, <em>we're</em> going to do whatever it takes to save Lincoln and get out of this house of hell. Do I make myself clear?"</p>
<p>Although she still didn't like how everything was playing out, Lynn conceded to herself that there was no other choice at this rate. Saving their only brother topped any concerns she had with Luan's state of mind. Perhaps with some reluctance, she nodded and brought herself back to her feet before reclaiming her bat.</p>
<p>Continuing their journey, Luan and Lynn went through a doorway on the other side of the parlor and came upon another stairway. They ascended those stairs and head through another door wherein a large hallway was on the other side.</p>
<p>As they arrived, they both heard sinister, boastful laughter coming from opposite ends of the hall. The sources of such laughter sauntered on out to reveal two more clowns, only this time, unlike the previous ones, these were a pair of tall, slender twin lady clowns.</p>
<p>"Oh, what do we have here, dear sister?"</p>
<p>"Looks like another pair of sisters to me."</p>
<p>"Say, doesn't the small one look familiar to you?"</p>
<p>"Mm, yes, yes, she does. She was...brought in, if you will, along with that white haired boy."</p>
<p>"Yes, of course. He's such a cute one!"</p>
<p>"Meh, from the time we've spent with him, he's kind of a whiny, wimpy dork if you ask me."</p>
<p>And with that statement, whatever anxieties Lynn had been experiencing slowly melted away. In it's place was now a fire of determination that wanted to burn down these cackling crazies for their transgressions.</p>
<p>"Hey, aside from my family in a lighthearted sense, <em>no one</em> talks to my little brother like that...<em>ever!</em>" She said with aggressive finger pointing.</p>
<p>Next, she would take that same finger, run it over some blood that was dripping downward from the bat and drew lines with it underneath her eyes akin to face paint that football and baseball players wore.</p>
<p>Luan witnessed that act and smirked, "Looks like some <em>lines</em> have been <em>drawn</em> with you, huh?"</p>
<p>Lynn nodded in the affirmative and turned a newly steely gaze to the twins, "Game on, bitches!"</p>
<p>"Ha! Do you really think you two stand a chance against me, Sparkle?</p>
<p>"And me, Sprinkle?"</p>
<p>Having declared their identities, Sparkle pulled out a set of nunchucks with small curved edges on each end while Sprinkle unveiled a staff with two blunt, jagged ends.</p>
<p>"I wanna handle the mouthy one who said those disparaging things about Lincoln." Lynn said filled with moxie.</p>
<p>"I believe that's Sprinkle." Luan confirmed, "So obviously that leaves me with Sparkle."</p>
<p>Both of them looked at each other, smiled confidently and then readied themselves for yet another clash with more psychotic jesters. Similarly, Sparkle and Sprinkle struck their own strident stances.</p>
<p>As the twin clown ladies made their move toward the two Loud sisters, Luan and Lynn stood their ground as to not replicate any reckless charging like both did in prior skirmishes. They braced for the opening attempted strike coming from the terrifying twosome…</p>
<p>Until Sparkle aimlessly swung her nunchucks to her left, whacking Sprinkle right in the face and knocking her down.</p>
<p>"OW! What was that for?!" Sprinkle angrily demanded.</p>
<p>"Oops, sorry!" Sparkle meekly apologized.</p>
<p>Sparkle tried to help her twin up, but Sprinkle was adamant in getting back to her feet on her own. In doing so, she swung her staff wildly and now it was Sparkle's turn to become a victim of an inadvertent sideswipe.</p>
<p>"Hey, watch it!" Sparkle said miffed.</p>
<p>"Not my fault that you're in my way!" Sprinkle charged her twin.</p>
<p>For the next few moments, the clown twins were stuck in a bizarre incompetence cycle of accidentally hitting one another, much to the bewildered bemusement of the bloodied, brunette Loud sisters.</p>
<p>"Well now...to quote a recently deceased clown, there appears to be no concrete strategy here." Lynn said, using a more gruff voice for the latter portion.</p>
<p>"Yeah, you might say they've <em>beaten </em>us to the punch...of beating themselves up, that is!" Luan joked.</p>
<p>"If anything else, they're like a pair of klutzy clown clones of Leni." Lynn added with a smirk.</p>
<p>Luan got into a bit of a giggle fit, "Oh, come on, Lynn, that's a little low. Leni is <em>far </em>more competent than these two could ever dream of being!"</p>
<p>The two looked on a few seconds more of the utter stupidity of Sparkle and Sprinkle, shaking their heads in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Should we put them out of their misery?" Lynn inquired.</p>
<p>"Might be for the best." Luan agreed.</p>
<p>Weapons at the ready, Luan and Lynn lunged onward after the terribly inept twosome. Despite their initial plan for each to target one of the two, Lynn took charge of the situation by first blasting Sparkle out of the way and then turned her full attention to Sprinkle. Lynn leveled her and bashed the skull of the mealymouthed twin who derided her brother over a dozen times with her bat like she was a girl possessed. The degree of viciousness that Lynn displayed in her bludgeoning was such that even Luan for all her clown slaying acts thus far was a tinge perturbed by it.</p>
<p>Finally, having reduced Sprinkle's head and skull into an unrecognizable paste of marrow, blood and flesh, Lynn backed away from the mess and in an instant, the feelings of total fear and anxiety quickly returned as her aggressiveness slipped away from her system. But she had little time to take everything in or anything else when she got whacked in the face by a recovered Sparkle.</p>
<p>"You fucking bitch! That was my sister!" She expressed enraged and strained, "How dare you! How could you even-"</p>
<p>Her statement was cut off, both in the figurative and literal senses, when Luan slammed the hatchet across her back, falling down face first on the floor.</p>
<p>"Maybe you should have thought about that <em>before</em> you, her and all your sicko clown buddies kidnapped <em>my </em>sister and <em>my</em> brother, so don't go losing your head over that!" Luan said, a sadistic grin forming on her lips, "Actually, that's not half bad of an idea..."</p>
<p>Planting her foot perpendicular on Sparkle's back, Luan swung the hatchet down execution style a couple of times until a beheading had been achieved, with the head rolling casually along to the side afterward.</p>
<p>"Heh...we really stayed <em>a head</em> above them didn't we, Lynn?"</p>
<p>Luan didn't get any sort of response from her sister, so when she turned over as to see why, Lynn was sitting away a couple of feet from the corpses of Sparkle and Sprinkle. The bat was to her side and she hugging her knees and whimpering.</p>
<p>Approaching her sister, Luan placed the hatchet down and made her look up. Unlike earlier, Lynn saw a more compassionate and understanding look on Luan's face. The latter helped the former up to her feet, and as means to give a some quick reassurance and perhaps as her way to making up for the callous way she talked to her before, Luan brought Lynn into her arms, causing her sister to do the same and she began to cry softly again.</p>
<p>"I hate this...I hate every second of this..." She muttered.</p>
<p>Luan didn't exactly know what to say in the moment, only instead holding her a little closer.</p>
<p>"Luan...if we ever find Lincoln-"</p>
<p>"<em>When</em>..." Luan corrected her.</p>
<p>Lynn sniffled, "Okay...<em>when</em> we find him...I wanna get out of here. I don't care about getting any more revenge on these clowns, I just want to be out of this place and back home!"</p>
<p>Luan sighed and patted the back of her sister's head, "I promise you, Lynn, that is exactly what we'll do. To be honest, even I'm finally getting sick of doing this, too..."</p>
<p>The embrace between them abruptly ended, knowing again they can't waste that much more time as they needed to prioritize in finding their little brother and escaping while they still can.</p>
<p>Reclaiming their armaments, Luan and Lynn ventured down the hall some more, but came to a sudden halt when one of the foulest odors either of them have ever experienced caught them off guard.</p>
<p>"Gah…!" Lynn uttered, gagging and covering her mouth and nose, "What is that?"</p>
<p>Like her sister, Luan covered up as she also tried to find the origin of the stench. She backtracked few steps and came to the conclusion it appeared to be coming from behind a door they just passed on by. She gave no mind as to what could be on the other side, but picking up on a very faint noise, she ultimately chose to risk checking things out.</p>
<p>It might've been a regretful decision on her part, because when she opened the door, both Luan and Lynn were greeting with what was by far the most revolting sight they've ever seen.</p>
<p>Inside this largely empty room was a pile of decomposing bodies largely appearing to be comprised of children. It was a sight so nasty, Lynn felt her stomach churn and she couldn't contain to the contents within, jerking her head to the side and vomiting. Meanwhile, Luan was stunned into silence, realizing just how evil and monstrous these clowns really were if this was indeed their murderous handiwork. For a fleeting moment, she genuinely feared the worst about Lincoln.</p>
<p>But then, that same faint noise which encouraged her to make this grimmest of discoveries came about again, and curiously, it was being emitted from within the pile.</p>
<p>"H-h-help..."</p>
<p>Luan's eyes widened and she gasped. That voice could only belong to one person…</p>
<p>"Lincoln?!"</p>
<p>A hand was also now reaching out from the pile. Forgoing any sort of feelings of revulsion or disgust about touching or even being near them, Luan went up and wasted no time in pushing and pulling away some of the bodies stacked on top of one another. Little by little, she saw more familiar features: white hair, a chipped tooth and an orange polo shirt. There was no remaining doubts right now, this was indeed her missing brother.</p>
<p>"Lynn, give me a hand here!" Luan shouted to her sister.</p>
<p>Still having just recovered from her vomiting episode, Lynn wondered what Luan could possibly need assistance in. But one quick glance at the only living form within the pile of bodies and she couldn't have rushed over to help any faster.</p>
<p>Each of them grabbing onto a hand, Luan and Lynn were able to slowly pull Lincoln free from heap of untimely stiffs, and no sooner was he freed did he immediately cling onto his sisters for dear life. They too tightly held on, never minding the fact he was covered in the stench and rotting remnants of prior victims. The only thing that mattered in the here and now was that Lincoln was in fact alive and well, if also more than a little bit shaken and traumatized.</p>
<p>"Oh, Lincoln, you don't know how relieved we are to find you!" Luan said.</p>
<p>"I really didn't think we'd actually ever see you again!" Lynn added as she teared up again.</p>
<p>While Lincoln didn't say anything in return, again likely suffering from shock as a result of whatever terrors he faced, he kept his grip around both of his sisters like he never wanted to let go.</p>
<p>Eventually, or at least reluctantly on Lincoln's end, all three let go of one another.</p>
<p>"What were you even doing in there in the first place, Lincoln?" Luan asked worriedly.</p>
<p>"Hiding...from <em>them</em>." Lincoln answered, following a fearful several seconds of hesitation.</p>
<p>He started shaking and whimpering. At this rate, everyone had seen and been through enough.</p>
<p>"Okay, can we <em>finally</em> get out of here?" Lynn all but demanded anxiously.</p>
<p>Luan nodded, "My thoughts exactly."</p>
<p>Without giving it another second of thought, she began to lead her siblings on the way to safety at a brisk pace. However, the quickened gait almost immediately made Lincoln trip over his feet. Lynn looked back to see this, and having had enough of clown mauling, she slammed down the bat that was her lifesaver in the first place on the deceased bodies of Sparkle and Sprinkle with whom she just passed by again before dropping it on the ground and choosing from now on to focus solely on being by the side of her brother.</p>
<p>"Here, I got you, Linc." She assured.</p>
<p>Lynn helped Lincoln up to his feet again and kept an arm around him while he did the same around her shoulders. They soon resumed following behind Luan, who slowed the pace just enough to accommodate them. She kept a watchful eye, gripping the hatchet all the same, ready to still defend herself and her younger siblings should any more harlequin assailants be around the corner. She knew there were at least two more of them based on what she could remember from the placard from before, but hoped for the best case scenario of her, Lynn and Lincoln escaping without needing to encounter them.</p>
<p>After some frantic traversing through the handful of previously explored rooms, it seemed they were home free upon arriving at the foyer. They approached the front doors, but as Luan tried opening them, they appeared to be jammed.</p>
<p>"Oh, come on!" She said out of both frustration and a little fear.</p>
<p>She jiggled both knobs repeatedly, but still nothing was budging. However, an idea came to mind.</p>
<p>"Stand back, you guys." She told Lynn and Lincoln.</p>
<p>Knowing the doors were made of wood, Luan with all her might started smashing the hatchet multiple times over against them in the hopes of breaking the doors down. It took many tries, but a small hole was starting to form on of the doors, and it was hoped that the door would finally give way and break down.</p>
<p>"And just where do you think you're going?"</p>
<p>The escape plan was put to a halt when that gruff, booming voice echoed all across the room. The three siblings turned to see at the top of the stairs stood two more clowns. One had a big cigar in his mouth, indicating this one was Stogie, and the other had something of a militaristic motif going with him if the helmet, uniform and bandoleers crisscrossing over his chest were anything to go by, thus concluding he must be the one known as Salvo. These were supposedly the "glorious leaders" of this band of homicidal maniacs who disgraced the clowning profession and seeing them now, Luan was furious.</p>
<p>"You..." She growled, "You two are the ones responsible of all this!"</p>
<p>Stogie chuckled hoarsely, "Actually, I'm the real ringleader of this admittedly diminished circus. Gotta admit, never imaged my posse would be mowed down by some puny girl like you."</p>
<p>"Hey, you mess with my family, expect the unexpected and you'll never know what's coming." Luan fired back cockily.</p>
<p>"True, I suppose. But even then, I cannot let you leave. We had such big plans for those two little dweebs with you..." Stogie said, a menacing smile forming on his lips.</p>
<p>He pulled out a lighter and lit up the cigar in his mouth, then he pointed in the direction of the three siblings.</p>
<p>"Salvo, do what you do best and fight my battles for me!"</p>
<p>"Sir, yes sir!" Salvo shouted with a salute, "CHARGE!"</p>
<p>He made a beeline down the stairs and leaped in the air midway through, making Luan move out of the way as it seemed that he intended on crushing her with all his might. Salvo slammed hard on the ground and Luan immediately took advantage by swinging the hatchet down across portions of his back. However, a much more twisted idea came into fruition in her mind very quickly. She noticed a grenade on Salvo's belt and as he groggily tried getting back to his feet, she pulled the pin.</p>
<p>"This one's really gonna <em>blow</em> you away!"</p>
<p>Realizing what had happened, Salvo struggled in trying getting the grenade off his belt, but his attempts were getting it tangled up within. In a panic, he rushed out of the foyer and off into another room on the far end. But by the time he got out of sight, an explosion could be heard, followed by several smaller popping sounds, perhaps that of the bandoleers setting off, which would've all but fatally torn him up had he miraculously survived at first.</p>
<p>Just to confirm his fate, Luan went over to the very room Salvo rushed off to in order to check things out, whereupon she caught a glimpse of the second most disturbing sight she'd seen in the last several minutes.</p>
<p>"Well...that's one way to blow a gasket...or a rib cage...or everything else."</p>
<p>She quickly closed the door, returned to the side of her siblings and shot a smug look over up at Stogie.</p>
<p>"Heh, guess your stooge's bubble <em>burst</em>." Luan tauntingly said.</p>
<p>Stogie grumbled, "Well, as the old saying goes, sometimes you gotta handle things yourself. This should be easy, though. I mean, how in the world can I, a total mastermind, ever fall victim to…"</p>
<p>But as he was speaking while trying to go down the stairs, Stogie yelped as he tripped over his own two feet and tumbled on down before crumpling on the floor in a heap. Amusingly enough, his cigar managed to somehow remain in his mouth the whole time.</p>
<p>While groaning as rolled onto his back following that embarrassing mishap, Stogie looked to see an advantageous Luan lording right over him with a sick smile on her face.</p>
<p>"You know, for being such evil bastards and bitches, some of you bozos are complete klutzes, too. Then again, you are clowns and it's part of your job description." She said, giggling madly before turning serious again, "But no matter what, you orchestrated all this kidnapping and killing and you must pay. This for all those kids who died needlessly and for my siblings who almost suffered the same fate. I'm gonna relish this..."</p>
<p>First, Luan took the cigar out of Stogie's mouth and shoved it straight into his eye. He screamed in agony, which was like music to her ears. Then, just as an equal measure, her first swing of the hatchet was directly over the other eye, but she was far from done. She bludgeoned, bashed and chopped every portion of his body every which way. Every inch of pent up rage and anxiety about everything her siblings went through was channeled by each bloody swing and she cackled insanely all the way.</p>
<p>"Luan!"</p>
<p>That shout from Lynn and Lincoln didn't stop her as she kept on going. Even when it was patently clear that Stogie was long dead, she didn't let up.</p>
<p>"Luan!" They shouted to her again.</p>
<p>The concerns for her well being were like white noise to Luan. Her relentless slaughter continued on as did her maniacal laughter...</p>
<p>"LUAN!"</p><hr/>
<p>"Luan, wake up already!"</p>
<p>Finally feeling someone shaking her by the shoulders, Luan shot her eyes open and then she rose up from her bed panting heavily. She turned to her left and saw Luna by her bedside.</p>
<p>"Luna? What's going on? Where am I?" She asked worriedly.</p>
<p>"Hey, relax, you're in our room, sis." Luna answered, keeping a grip on Luan's shoulders, "I been trying to wake up you for like the last 20 seconds or something. It was really strange, brah. You were laughing in this really creepy manner and I wondered if there was something up."</p>
<p>In an instant, it all came rushing back to Luan. Every single solitary second of terror may have ultimately not been real, but it didn't change the fact that it all shook her to the core.</p>
<p>As Luna was moving to sit next to her, Luan flung her arms around her sister, trembling, whimpering and eventually crying along the way. The suddenness of everything did take Luna off guard for a moment, but she soon put that aside and went straight into giving her frightened sister some needed solace by hugging her back.</p>
<p>"You had a nightmare, didn't you?" Luna asked her.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh..." Luan meekly replied.</p>
<p>She buried her face right into her older sister's shoulder and began weeping harder. In response, Luna held Luan closer and ran a hand up and down her back soothingly. She really wanted to know what her sister could've dreamed about that put her in such a scared and saddened state of mind, but thought it was best for her to pour everything out first.</p>
<p>But then rather suddenly, Luan pulled away.</p>
<p>"I need to check up on Lynn and Lincoln." She said.</p>
<p>"Wait, why?" Luna wondered.</p>
<p>"Because I have to, Luna! I need to make sure they're okay!" Luan reemphasized more hysterically.</p>
<p>She tried getting up and rushing out to do just that, but Luna put both of her hands back on Luan's shoulders and held her steady.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, chill out now, Luan, easy does it..." Luna told her calmly, putting one of her hands along her sister's cheek, "If this is something that's really urge, how about I go get them for you instead? Might be better than you barging in and having them rocked out of their slumber. I'll be right back, okay?"</p>
<p>Nodding gently, Luan tried calming herself down a little while Luna set off to retrieve the two younger siblings of theirs who seemed to be desperately needed.</p>
<p>Conveniently enough, one of the those siblings was right in sight as Lynn had came up to the top of the stairs looking like she had gotten done grabbing herself a quick midnight snack if the munching sounds she made were anything to go by.</p>
<p>"Oh, perfect timing, LJ." Luna said upon her younger sister's arrival.</p>
<p>"Huh, what?" Lynn questioned, having finished chewing and swallowing whatever she ate.</p>
<p>"I'll explain things in a jiff. Just stick around for a sec."</p>
<p>Leaving her somewhat confused athlete sister behind very briefly, Luna went on over to the door leading to Lincoln's bedroom. She noticed right as she approached it that there was a dim light seeping through underneath the door, indicating he might've been awake already and thus saving Luna the trouble of having to do so herself.</p>
<p>"Hey, you awake, bro?" She inquired just in case.</p>
<p>"Um...yeah." Lincoln answered softly from the other side.</p>
<p>"Mind if I come in for just a sec?"</p>
<p>"Well...I guess not."</p>
<p>She turned the doorknob and peered inside his room. Upon looking in, she saw Lincoln sitting in his bed with a comic in his lap and a flashlight to his right, which was likely the light source that was emanating from inside.</p>
<p>"What's going on, Luna?" Lincoln asked.</p>
<p>"Uh, can you come on over to me and Luan's room for a moment? I'm having Lynn do the same as well, so assuming it's not too much trouble..." Luna responded.</p>
<p>Though perplexed, Lincoln nevertheless acquiesced. He got off his bed and followed behind Luna. As both crossed the midway through the hall and past the stairs, he looked on over to Lynn.</p>
<p>"You have any idea what's going on?" He asked her.</p>
<p>Lynn shrugged, "Beats me, but looks like we're just about to find out."</p>
<p>She tagged along with her younger brother and older sister over into the latter's room. Once inside and as Luna closed the door, she, Lynn and Lincoln saw Luan sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the side of her bed. She was also hugging her knees and her eyes still damp with tears.</p>
<p>"Whoa, are you okay, Luan?" Lincoln wondered full of concern.</p>
<p>"Yeah, and why did you want us to come over? What's up?" Lynn added, similarly worried.</p>
<p>"She had a nightmare, dudes, and if I had to take a shot in the dark, you two must have been involved in it and I bet that is part of the reason why she wanted to see you." Luna suggested.</p>
<p>With each of Luan's siblings getting more worried about her, they gathered close around her, with Luna sitting right next to her while Lynn and Lincoln sat in front of her.</p>
<p>"So...do you want to tell us what went down, sis?" Luna asked.</p>
<p>Releasing a shaky sigh, Luan opened her mouth and almost appeared to go into detail over the harrowing events that she dreamed about. However, she stopped short of doing so and instead she covered up her face with her hands and whimpered.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay..." Luna said, drawing her sister into her arms again, "Take your time if you need to. We're all here for you."</p>
<p>For their part, Lynn and Lincoln both patted their distressed older sister on her knees. It was such a rare sight to see Luan in such fright and sadness. She's typically one of the most naturally happy and jovial members of the family, so whatever her nightmare was about had to seriously affect her deeply in order to be in such an emotional state.</p>
<p>"Okay...I think I'm ready." Luan remarked after giving another moment.</p>
<p>She sighed for a second time while Luna released her, then she faced her two younger siblings.</p>
<p>"So...Luna is right in that I did have a nightmare and yes, the two of you were also in it." Luan began explaining, "At the start, the three of us were taking a walk down this sort of isolated part of Royal Woods because you had scouted it out as somewhere you wanted to trick or treating for Halloween, Lincoln, since this dream took place five days before then."</p>
<p>"Huh...well that's odd. I mean, Halloween isn't until several more months from now, so it's kind of weird you'd dream about that at first." Lincoln noted.</p>
<p>"Yeah, probably..." Luan agreed with a very light laugh, "Anyway, in case you were about to ask, the reason Lynn and I were also with you was because I was going to accompany you on Halloween, and believe it or not in Lynn's case, wanted to trick or treat as well."</p>
<p>"Really? At my age?" Lynn questioned perplexingly, "I quit doing that after last year when I was twelve, the same age when you did the year before, Luan."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I know…." Luan commented, then she frowned, "But all of that is irrelevant compared to the main meat of my nightmare...ugh, wait, maybe that wasn't the best word to use knowing what happened."</p>
<p>Again, she chose to take a deep breath and also covered her face once more, groaning on top of that.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry..." She lamented.</p>
<p>"Don't be, brah. Like I said, take all the time you need." Luna reassured, placing a hand on her back.</p>
<p>Luan took advantage of such until she collected the willpower to press onward. In addition to all the disturbing subject matter, she also had been developing a working theory as to why this nightmare had occurred in the first place that was terrifying to her. But revealing what it was will wait until after the deep, yet difficult dive into the horrors that preceded several minutes ago.</p>
<p>"All right, I'm good...sort of..." She resumed, "Okay, what happened next was that Lynn, Lincoln and I came across this creepy looking house that had this sign claiming it was a haunted house attraction of some sort. We spent a minute debating whether or not it was really something that was going to be operational or not, or even if was operational from the very beginning before it got up and running and that the house might've been long abandoned. But no matter the case, Lincoln and I sort of decided to forget about the whole thing, but Lynn suddenly decided to check out the house herself despite us warning her not to. When she didn't come back out after a minute, Lincoln went in to go get her..."</p>
<p>At the end of that sentence, Luan shifted around uncomfortably. She knew this is where things were really about to get much harder for her to describe.</p>
<p>"And this is when stuff gets truly scary. When neither you guys came out, I knew I had no choice but to go in myself and see where you went. But no sooner did I set foot inside that house did the doors suddenly close and seemingly trapped me inside. Then before I knew it, this really creepy clown grabbed me from behind and tried dragging me away, then he threatened me with this hatchet, which like an axe in case anyone might be curious what that is if you didn't know. Finally at the last second, I bit on his hand, causing him to drop the hatchet and I had no other choice but to use it in order to kill him."</p>
<p>Mentioning the very first of several clown kills made Luan wince. Revisiting the visceral detail in her mind about that and then some wouldn't get much easier as she went into more detail.</p>
<p>"So it turned out this whole house was full of these clowns and I believed they kidnapped Lynn and Lincoln, which set me off on wanting to exact revenge on them. One by one, I kept encountering and killing them, with Lynn doing her part as well while wielding this spiked baseball bat once I found her. Eventually, we also found Lincoln and almost made it out of the house before I took care of two remaining clowns..."</p>
<p>Reaching the conclusion in truncation, Luan shuddered.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry if that sounded like I rushed through things, but I really don't want to talk about the literal and figurative gory details any longer than I feel like I need to…" She explained.</p>
<p>"Well, I do have to admit one thing..." Luna began speaking after a period of taking in everything, "Although what you did tell us is pretty gnarly and I can certainly see why it gave you a major case of the creeps, the fact you admitted that you, Lynn and Lincoln appear to make it alive in the end does bring a little ray of light through the darkness of it all."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'll say." Lynn agreed, "And if anything else, the idea of you and me taking it to some scary clowns sounds...uh, well, there is a certain word I'd use, but given the company of our little bro here..."</p>
<p>Lincoln got confused by that, "Huh? Wait, are you censoring yourself because I'm around? Oh, come on, Lynn. I've heard a <em>lot</em> of words of certain sorts thrown around in this house, including from you I might point out, so really, you don't need to patronize me in that sense."</p>
<p>Lynn chuckled softly before returning her sight to Luan, "Well, if that's the case...then honestly, what you and I did actually sounded pretty badass!"</p>
<p>Luan also chuckled, albeit more reluctantly, "Well, maybe you'd think that, but I'd disagree, because speaking of honesty, there's an aspect of that which scared me the most. For every clown that was killed...I was loving it. With each chop, slash and cut, I was getting a sick thrill out of it, and strangely enough it was you of all people who was greatly disturbed by my apparent enjoyment of committing evil clown massacre, Lynn."</p>
<p>Once again, she sighed and groaned a little.</p>
<p>"And I'm sure all three of you might say I only did what I did out of rescuing you two, Lynn and Lincoln, but even then looking back, it doesn't change the fact I was brutally taking humans lives in the process. Granted, they committed heinous acts and corrupted the honorable profession of clowning while doing so, but still...the idea of ever having to kill someone even in my dreams just will never sit well with me."</p>
<p>"Well, at the end of the day, though, it was only a dream, Luan. How you act in them versus how you are in real life shouldn't cause you too much worry." Lincoln pointed out to her.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'd say our bro is right on the money. I wouldn't suggest ragging yourself over something that I'd guarantee would almost never happen for real." Luna added.</p>
<p>Luan grimaced, "Well, not that I don't appreciate the thought, but again, I have to disagree. You see, I feel like that there's a reason this dream came about in the first place. I mean, nobody dreams about being trapped in a creepy house full of killer clowns who take two of your younger siblings hostage and you have to commit clown homicide in order to save them for absolutely no reason at all. Something has to trigger that and I've been thinking about what it could have been."</p>
<p>"What do you mean by that?" Lynn asked.</p>
<p>Luan collected her thoughts again before delivering her theory.</p>
<p>"I wonder...if this was a dream that in some way was telling me how crazy I get during April Fool's Day."</p>
<p>To say such a claim left Luna, Lynn and Lincoln dumbfounded would've been a severe understatement.</p>
<p>"Whoa, hold everything now. Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch there, sis?" Luna said.</p>
<p>"You might think so at first, but you all should here me out on this." Luan responded before exploring her theory some more, "I just couldn't help but notice some connections throughout that dream. For one, there were a total of eleven clowns, nine of which I saw personally while the other two were seen by Lynn after she apparently dispatched of them. Now, where do you think the number eleven comes from? Maybe from the number of siblings our family consists of? And do you know what else both groups had in common? Their names each with the same letter, 'L' with us and 'S' in the case of the clowns. Finally, I said that I got some sort of sick thrill when killing those clowns. Could that in any way be a reminder of the twisted pleasure I get whenever I make you suffer through any sort of pranking on April Fool's Day?"</p>
<p>"Well...couldn't those first two things just be massive coincidences?" Lincoln suggested, "And that last bit I'd say is one giant false equivalence. For as crazy as some of your April Fool's pranks can be, I don't think you actually compare that to dishing it out to some scary clowns, Luan."</p>
<p>"Oh yeah, Lincoln? You think there's no equivalence?" Luan said, practically taking offense to that, "How about explaining what happened recently when I pranked everyone at the motel with Dad's reluctant help? You do know that some in our family could've <em>died</em> during then? But did I care in the duration? Apparently not, because all that mattered was my sick pleasure in seeing my family suffer for no other reason! So why can't I connect the two? Maybe it's because I'm someone who's sick in the head who loves seeing others suffer! Who'd blame me for wanting to think that?! Maybe the dream was telling me that one day I'll completely lose it and I'll..."</p>
<p>"Luan, get a grip on yourself!" Luna shouted, turning her sister's head to face her, "I have an awful feeling I know what you were about to say, but I'm gonna tell you that will<em> never</em><em> even </em><em>come</em><em> close</em> to ever happening! You're not a sick or otherwise crazy person, April Fool's pranking be damned! It's just one day out of a whole year, because otherwise is of my personal belief that you are truly one of the nicest, caring and most loving people that I know, and I guarantee you that Lynn and Lincoln here would vouch for that, wouldn't you dudes think so?"</p>
<p>Without saying any words, they simply smiled and both nodded in the affirmative.</p>
<p>"So if you want any advice from me, it's that you shouldn't try finding some bogus meaning to this dream and make yourself out as some sort of psycho girl you aren't and shame on anyone who tries labeling you as such. Could there have been some reason this dream happened? Maybe, and I don't at all blame you for being scared over it. But at the same time, it's no reason for you to send yourself into a complete panic and reaching for unproven theories that'll reflect on you negatively. To repeat, you are one of the sweetest gals in this fam and I don't ever want to hear you or anyone else say otherwise." Luna wrapped up saying unfaltering.</p>
<p>At the conclusion of Luna's steadfast remarks, a wave of cascading mixed emotions washed over Luan. On the one hand, she couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot for trying too hard in reaching for any sort of far fetched claims to suggest she's something that ultimately she's not. Still, it also felt really reassuring to have a trio of siblings who will be quick to remind her of who she truly is both deep down and expressly.</p>
<p>The mixture of competing emotions did in any event cause her to tear up again and sob some more, but she was soon brought into another embrace from Luna, and if that wasn't enough, Lynn and Lincoln also joined in solidarity with their sister.</p>
<p>"You know, if it makes you feel any better, Luan, even if the idea of killing anyone makes you uncomfortable even in your dreams, I'd could say all that happened in your dream is proof of the lengths of what you might possibly do for us." Lincoln posited.</p>
<p>Luan couldn't help but chuckle through her tears, "Huh...you might be right, Lincoln. I may act like kind of a nutcase at times, but I truly would do <em>anything</em> for you guys. You three mean the world to me and from the bottom of my heart, I love you."</p>
<p>"Aw, right back at you." Lynn reciprocated.</p>
<p>"Same here, too." Lincoln added.</p>
<p>"Yeah, make that a trio of love sent your way, sis." Luna rounded out with.</p>
<p>As she was engulfed further into the three-way hug she was caught in the middle of, Luan tried her best in putting her arms around all three of them in return while smiling. She still cried a little in the moment, but now it was purely out of relief.</p>
<p>Following another prolonged period together, everyone finally parted away.</p>
<p>"All right, as much as I needed the company, I think the two of you should head back to bed." Luan said to her younger siblings.</p>
<p>"You sure?" Lynn inquired.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I mean we could possibly stay with you and Luna for the night if that might make you feel any more better." Lincoln offered.</p>
<p>Luan shook her head, "No, you don't need to. It's sweet to suggest that, but really, I just wanted to make sure you're both okay and that's all that mattered."</p>
<p>While smiling again, she reached out and put her arms around Lynn and Lincoln once more, then gave them each a kiss on their cheek.</p>
<p>"But thank you for being generous enough with your time in coming here and remember, I love you both and if you ever need me, I'll be there for you no matter what."</p>
<p>After reaffirming her love and devotion to them, Luan released her younger siblings and allowed them to return to their respective rooms again. Meanwhile, she sat back down on her bed and let out a deep breath as her older sister rejoined by her side.</p>
<p>"You know, maybe LJ and Linc won't be staying with us, but maybe I could do the same for you if feel up for it." Luna suggested.</p>
<p>"Wait, as in you being with me in my bed or the other way around?" Luan wondered, appearing slightly resistant to the proposition, "Aren't we a bit too old for that? It'd be one thing if you or me had any of our younger siblings do the same, but both of us together? I don't know…"</p>
<p>"I can understand your reservations, Luan, but I don't see it as too big a deal myself. Besides, I just thought after the scary sitch you went through that it might be nice to have someone by your side for the rest of the night." Luna said, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder.</p>
<p>Luan sighed, but eventually a smile formed, "Well...if you insist. After all, maybe two sisters snug like <em>bugs</em> in a rug isn't so <em>repellent</em> of an idea the more I think about it."</p>
<p>At long last, the signature laughter of the family comedienne was heard, alleviating some more of the fears from tonight and self doubts about who she really is inside, all while Luna watched on with her own smile.</p>
<p>Eventually, Luan got back under the covers of her bed and her sister joined alongside her shortly after.</p>
<p>"Well, try getting some more Z's, okay?" Luna said, "And just to remind you, you're a great little sis, perhaps an even better big sis and just overall you're a sweet one all around. Don't you ever forget that, Luan."</p>
<p>Luan smiled, "Thanks, and you're a great sister, too, Luna...and so is Lynn...and Lincoln makes for a great brother as well. You're all great and wonderful siblings of mine."</p>
<p>Luna chuckled before she leaned up and softly kissed Luan's forehead, then she rolled to her side and tried getting back to sleep. However, about a minute later, she felt Luan shift over and snuggle closer against her.</p>
<p>"Sorry, but maybe you're right about me needing someone by my side after everything." Luan admitted sheepishly.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's cool. It's exactly what I'm here for." Luna assured.</p>
<p>Resting her head along Luna's shoulder, Luan sighed and slowly but surely, both she and her sister drifted off to sleep.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, no amount of terrifying nightmares, crazy pranks or unfounded notions of insanity can ever change the fact that Luan Loud is deep down a sweet, wonderful and loving girl with a caring heart who is utterly devoted to her siblings and her family broadly speaking, and she'll forever be thankful for them for being reminded of that at any given time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heh...like I said in the beginning, even if most of this was a deviation of the norm, I still love closing things out on a very heartwarming manner. I'd say it's a good way to end this story that acts sort of as a fusion Halloween/April Fool's Day/clown choppy fest/something of a character study of Luan. That last portion might've turned out to be one of the reason I liked writing this so much, which was to reinforce that Luan is not some crazy, diabolical girl and instead who I would argue is one the sweetest and multifaceted characters in this series we all love. Also, speaking of April Fool's, this story acts as if the events of "Fool's Paradise" was the only instance of the holiday happening in recent memory. Plus, given how that episode is famously deemed as if it were the equivalent of a G-rated horror movie, I thought it would fit here nicely enough.</p>
<p>Now, I'm betting quite a bit of you watching on probably saw the whole sequence of revenge induced clown massacring ultimately being just a nightmare coming from a mile away. My choice in doing that is twofold. One, I just couldn't bring myself to have it occur with the "reality" of the universe of The Loud House and the other reason is that the world of dreams is perhaps one of the few instances where one can suspend their disbelief enough to think a pair of young teenage girls could have a fighting chance in taking on and vanquishing evil clowns. Also, the moments where some of said clowns acted in klutzy manners was done to add some slight elements of comedy within and have instances where Luan and Lynn could take advantage of such accidents as opposed to being in overly prolonged pitched combat. That latter reasoning is also why all the fight scenes were relatively short, too.</p>
<p>With all that said and done, thank you very much for taking the time to read this and more regularly scheduled written programming shall resume soon enough.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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